Rear Window (1954)

#42, undisputed


I'm a big Hitchcock fan but not big on scary movies. Hence, this is one of my favorites since it's suspenseful but not scary like other horror movies (and others of his films). I read after watching it again that it was filmed on a massive set in Los Angeles and not in New York where it takes place, which is pretty incredible considering how much happens in the apartments across from Jeffries'. Several of them were actual working apartments decorated and sized according to their respective tenants. James Stewart is perfect, with a great balance of dry humor and inquisitive curiosity. Grace Kelly is classic Hollywood over the top which is outdated and unrelatable but a lot of fun to watch (I'm not sure I've seen her in anything else but she's certainly of an era). I remembered some of the storyline but forgot certain plot points so seeing it all unfold again was a lot of fun. I particularly like how much we see (and care for) the residents of the other apartments. Since the whole thing (with the exception of one moment) takes place inside Jeffries' apartment, you get a real sense of how isolated he feels and how closely he relates to these people he doesn't actually know. Because of this empathy we feel for him, we start to connect with these other characters as well and by the end of the movie we feel the same peace he does as we see their respective outcomes. I missed Hitchcock's cameo so if you know where it is, let me know! For a simple, fun, old-timey movie, definitely check this one out.

The Maltese Falcon (1941)

#23, undisputed




The Maltese Falcon is a movie. It is in black and white. A lot happens and it is hard to follow all the action. Peter Lorre is the best part. This concludes my report on the movie, The Maltese Falcon. Thank you.

Saving Private Ryan (1998)

#71, replaced Forest Gump


I'm a big fan of films (shocking, I know) and I tend to watch movies with iMDB open on the side. This one has been on my list for a long time. Just one of those movies I've been meaning to get to forever. I finally watched it and my brain exploded with this cast. Did you know all these people were in it? Basically every male actor who has ever appeared on a screen in the history of cinema has a part. I thought the story was interesting but not nearly as compelling as the movie's hype makes it seem. Granted, 10 years later I've heard an awful lot about it and few films actually do live up to their own reputations. I thought most of the acting was excellent and the scenery and recreations of actual battles are amazing. I say thumbs up to the movie, but I wouldn't give it rave reviews.

Fargo (1996)

#84, removed from list in 2007



I have a confession to make. It's not going to be easy to hear. Hell, it's not very easy to say. But it's the truth and I need to come clean about it. Here goes. I'm scared...

I, Elie Berkowitz, hate the Coen Brothers' movies.

Okay, hear me out. I should like them. I like them in theory. I want to like them. I just... don't. Everything about their style of film-making appeals to me (reusing the same cast of actors, incredibly realistic dialogue and speech patterns, sometimes excessive use of bad language, Steve Buscemi, etc) and I don't understand it myself but I just can't get on board with their stuff. In a way I think it's very Mametian who is one of my absolute favorite playwrights of all time. They even have William H. Macy in common. I like everything Bill Macy has ever done (except for Wild Hogs, which I like to pretend never happened...) and I actually liked him in this quite a bit. I even understand why Frances McDormand won an Oscar for the movie! So why did I hate it so much? Here's how I think it breaks down:


1. The plot is both too cluttered and mind-numbingly, crawling-at-a-snail's-pace, Dear-God-please-let-something-happen-soon slow. It takes a real talent to do both at the same time. The intial storyline involves William H. Macy hiring Steve Buscemi and Peter Stormare to fake-kidnap his wife. Comedy! He needs the ransom money and he's sure her wealthy father will pay up. Unfortunately for everyone, they're all bumbling idiots and everyone is too dumb to pull this off. That's where it all derails. There are (spoiler alert:) other murders that seem to have nothing to do with anything, suspects to interview who seem to have no bearing on anything, and lots and lots of shots of snow and signage and cabins and Winter that put me right to sleep.

2. The dialogue is excellent. I love writing (both for stage and screen) that sounds very realistic and deceptively easy to pull off. [Sidenote: Going back to Mamet, it sounds very, very wrong if you don't speak it with the correct pauses on the correct syllables at the correct times in the correct ways. That shit is not easy to pull off. Lucky for me, it's my favorite type of dialogue and I work very hard to make all writing sound like that when I speak on stage. I think it's more fun, more rewarding and more of a challenge as an actor.]

3. Note that I used the word "dialogue" above and not writing. How this won an Oscar for Best Screenplay is beyond me.

4. Frances McDormand is the greatest person of all time. For the right now anyway. She is truly a study in accent-work. Also acting pregnant. Awesome.

5. The ending. Oy. I think we've all heard about the infamous "wood chopper scene" about which I won't go into more detail here. Except to mention that it is the ending. No, seriously, the ending. The last thing we see on screen. Hello? Did the ideas just stop coming? Did production costs get too high? Finally got too cold on location to keep shooting? Baffling.

6. I've felt this way about other movies of theirs. I fell asleep during O, Brother, Where Art Thou? all three times I tried to watch it and I'm apparently the only person on Earth who thought No Country For Old Men was the worst movie of last year. Anyone with suggestions for better movies to start with, please let me know.


It was a rough night of movie-watching and it left me wanting much, much more. Like, you know, a beginning, middle or end. But I did walk around speaking in that accent for the next week. And that's always fun, ya?